Mother (Nocturnalis) EP

by Dutchyyy

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1.	Nocturnalis I 02:25	info	buy track
2.	Nocturnalis II 03:40	info	buy track
3.	Nocturnalis III 02:43	info	buy track
4.	Debbie. 03:09	info	buy track

about

Backstory,

I was living in Los Angeles when my mother Debbie got sick. She was the text case of a hypochondriac so when she told me, I basically told her to walk it off. A few days passed and she went to the hospital. My family all told me the Doctors said she would be fine. At the time, I just started a job at Netflix. I was on a probationary period, living on my friend Josh's couch (Sunjet/Josh Jetson) and didn't even have enough money to get back and forth to work yet, so my mom would paypal the little money she had to help. A few days passed and mom had to be intubated. Obviously things were more serious than my family led them to be. My heart was heavy. I just started this amazing job making $120 hour and all I wanted was to fly home and see my mother, but my family insisted I focus on the Job my mom was so proud I landed and that it was in my best interest not to see her like that. 2 days later, My probationary period ended and I finally started getting paid. I was at work when I got the phone call from my brother crying his eyes out. My heart dropped. He put me on the phone with the doctor and they wanted my permission to take her off life support, and i refused.. My mother was full of love and empathy, she felt this world too deeply and it was difficult for her. As much as she loved us, she always had a hard time navigating thru this world (The same goes for myself and my brother, we feel things deeply and always feel out of place). I was listening to Bobby Hutcherson's "Nocturnal" when i got the phone call my mother wasn't going to make it. The next day, I got an email from my Job saying do not come into work before calling. Apparently, it was against policy to take pictures in the building, and I had posted a picture of me at my desk when i got hired saying verbatim "thank you universe for 2nd chances, I am eternally grateful" - With regret in their voice, they had to terminate me immediately. My heart was smashed, and 40 minutes later I got the call. My mother had passed. I was on the next flight back to Tampa Bay. The first time i touched music, I decided to flip the bobby hutcherson sample. I did it very fast, didn't overthink or mix it down and uploaded to soundcloud. The following year on mothers day, I revisited the o.g. sample and made 3 more flips dedicated to her. Nocturnalis I, II & 3 and I also recorded a freestyle over one of them.

I haven't ever truly recovered from losing my mother. My big heart crew cold. The defensive walls I built after such a traumatic experience have never really went away to this day. I hope one day to feel light and at peace again, and I hope where you are mom. You are finally at peace.

I love you and miss you so much.

Eternally,

Dutch VonEpp Ziegler.
Dutchyyy
Dutchmassive.
Your son.
<3

credits

released May 10, 2020

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about

Dutchyyy Tampa, Florida

Dutchyyy fka Dutchy aka Dutchmassive
(of Equilibrium)
aka
PeacePeaceGawd
aka
TheReluctantClap

Music Nerd.
Sample Mangler. Super Emcee.
Chord Fumbler.
Dynamics Crushing.
Beat Hoarder.

#EvolvingPortals ... more

linktr.ee

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